if a man tells me he’d watch all the twilight movies with me i’d suck the soul out his dick

day 2,254 of asking for the bare minimum

life is not handing me lemons life is throwing lemons at my fucking head

Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin') (With Her Toes) by T-Pain, Yung Joc

A relationship is easy when you dealing with a mf that actually likes you.

You're slowly leaving survival mode. Here's what to expect:

Women are trained to apologize too much when they should be trained to stop doing so much stuff wrong

me, reappearing in people’s life after isolating myself for weeks

can never get enough tiramisu

The angel in Midnight Mass if they slayed

My type of weaponize incompetence 😭

Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on: •Iced tea imported from England •Lifeguards imported from Spain •Towels imported from Turkey •And turkey imported from Maine