i try to treat everyone with basic human decency but a lot of you are perverts

My new meme

They should make a ginger ale with caffeine in it

it must feel good af to be cruel to me

#me

Anyone know what that distant 'nee nurr nee nurr' sound I hear constantly is?

Might need to start making my own diet coke. Anyone know how to grow aspartame?

Giving someone their undivided attention is the sluttiest thing a person can do.

It's famously easy to draw a Hitler moustache on an image of the Premier of NSW, whoever that may be, digitally or otherwise. You don't need to use AI to do it. This looks like Matthew Perry.

(Reading your posts) hmmm not very comradely of you

Therapist asked if autism ran in my family so I'm back on twitter.

Parasocial

Trying to quit smoking is so embarrassing what are you afraid of dying wuss boy? Don't wanna die you big wuss?

Horoscope said great day for phone.

Aspartame? Aspartayou!

Best part about living in a city is that you can buy a can of diet coke literally any time you want. In the country the diet coke closes for a few hours in the early morning

Don’t even joke lad

Writers and their words are an existential threat to global humanity. Do not 'read' or you will accidentally become a terrorist and then ASIO will be forced to ignore you for six years.

I'm running for public office in Australia and I'm here to offer you a bold vision: we will do absolutely everything everybody wants in one go at the exact same time, and that should all work out just fine for everyone.

it's cool when you meet a woman who has normal-seeming social adeptness and then you talk to her for more than 30 minutes and realise she has weapons-grade-auťism