At some point I became a work-a-holic who is unable to take vacation without responding to work emails. Idk how to feel about this🤔🤣

As we get older, we regret what we *didn't* do much more than what we did. Over time, regrets of inaction easily outnumber regrets of action. The lesson for 2023? Start that business. Write that novel. Ask out that crush. Take your shot.

Do the damn thing

Our new employee handbook states “no blankets while on calls” and I wanna email my CEO “just @ me next time”🤣 But also, I’m wearing a blanket if and when I want to—fight me🙃

At what point in their career do football players lose the ability to squirt water into their own mouths?

The mix of curiosity, trepidation, and nervous energy I feel when my high school ex bf sends me a Snapchat video out of the blue🤔🤣 (Literally haven’t received a Snap from him in roughly 6 years)

Hahaha I successfully tricked my coworkers into thinking I’m giving them a fun presentation when really it’s about time tracking and cost management🤣

Today is a very frustrating day🙃

Tonight I reached that peak level of depression where I cleaned my whole house😎🤣

Idk why I’ve been avoiding doing laundry like it’s the most laborious household chore despite it being not only the easiest but also the most immediately rewarding… but now I have like 3 loads of laundry to do🙃🤣

Kinda wanna throw out 80% of my wardrobe and go on like an $800 shopping spree🙃🤔

Well what an absolute ~shit storm~ of a week this has been🙃

🎶 I know it’s bad, but we could be so good 🎶

Cleo barely sheds at all so I was woefully unprepared for Lucifer to shed his winter coat🙃🤣

Turns out the most effective alarm clock is a woodpecker drumming on your house at 5:30am🙃

I find it odd when people call both their significant other and their children “sweetie.”

Listening to an album that makes you think of the person you’re missing just hits different.

I just want to to write grant proposals to fund cool, fun, interesting projects, but I have no time because I’m too busy working on the lame, boring, useless projects🙃🙃