Every time the stock market loses money, in my head I go "Dow Jones... more like the DOWN Jones" and then shed a single tear because I lost all my money

Got frightened in an airport… scareport

Sam smith starts a Ponzi scheme… scam smith

Throughout December = happy holidays See someone eating eggs Benedict= happy hollandaise

It should be undernight, not “overnight”. We are not above the night. We are not moon.

Employees dislikes boss, tolerates coworkers.

Just remember when you die that there’s someone out there that gets to decide if your worthy enough to make into the “in remembrance” slideshow at award shows

Since the Jets are not playing , i don’t recognize Super Bowls as real superbowls

Oh My God 🧡💙

Smart for Biden to dropout and save his eligibility for his prime in 2028

So proud of everyone with a “use less tiktok” New Year’s resolution. You guys are doing great!

Movie sequels & remakes = nepo movies

5 years later the prophecy is complete (with two bikes in the mix).

Halfway through season 5 of stranger things, and I’m starting to think this Vecna guy might be bad???