Abigail Callaway (@swooftie13) 's Twitter Profile
Abigail Callaway

@swooftie13

hi, I'm Abigail. I'm honest, I'm creative, most of the time I'm smart, and sometimes I'm funny but don't count on it. hairdresser

ID: 249266644

calendar_today08-02-2011 18:13:39

12,12K Tweet

557 Followers

557 Following

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I was about to wait in the lobby at a resort to fight an elderly woman (probs late 50s) until my fiancé said “absolutely not” I was ready. But I got in the elevator

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Pro tip: ask the “surveyors” about Their personal area codes or their permanent residence and they’ll hang up on you real quick.

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Fiance: asks to rewatch SNL because he was on the phone the first time we watched it. Me: puts it on Fiance: goes upstairs for 10 mins.

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Me: *trying to make our house presentable for showings* Also me: *nah screw that, if they’re looking to rent and throw their money into a pit they need to know what they’re in for.* What they’re in for: leaks and unorganized chaos

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I know this isn’t how science and nature work but like… if these flies could get these sneaky mosquitoes rn that would be super cool. 🙃 #texas #abugslife

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Unexpected questions you’re asked when you hire movers to move you in? “Ma’am, where would you like your giraffe…?” 🙃🤣

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Okay I think the show “so freakin cheap” is going to give me premature wrinkles… my face is consistently in the expression of “WTF?!?”

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I watched a FB reel of a girl doing 2000’s makeup yesterday and I’m still thinking about the fact that she was so committed to the but that she shaved her natural and perfectly shaped brows for a 45 second video… and I can’t stop thinking about that. But yeah what’s up?

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Can someone explain to me how I can get jalapeño in my eye and it’s terrible for like an hour and then throw pollen in my face and I’m sneezing and scratching my eyes.

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Every time a chef/ restaurateur tells the cameras “tell Gordon Ramsay he should look at deez n*ts” I want Gordon to personally examine them