This is Felipe's car, and he wants everyone to know it. #zoomin #felipe #houston

I had the perfect lunch dates today ♥️ instagram.com/p/BlBfzo4nXe_O…

Just took my dog a bath now he's barking to go outside. And I know why. I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO ROLL IN THE GRASS.

I just took a big swig out of my Robitussin medicine bottle. That just shows you right there how my day is going. #sick

It's 12:45am. AC won't cool down the house. I'm hot and mad as hell. #whyohwhy

The only thing hotter than no A/C is Cillian Murphy. He's getting me though this troubling time. #PeakyBlinders

at least twitter has things to make you laugh, nextdoor is an even darker hell full of lost pets, karen asking about "gunshots" every 3 hours and brad's lawnstarter discount links

A million (new) movies I could see, and I'm rewatching The Crow for the millionth time #cantrainallthetime #brandonlee

Why have kids when I have #Alexa to raise my voice to? Me: Alexa, turn on the lights. Alexa: I'm sorry I don't know that one. Me: ALEXA! TURN 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 LIGHTS 👏 *Lights slowly fade on*

Congratulations to NAB Marconi Legendary Station of the Year, @TheNew93Q! #RadioShow2018

"YES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN JIM ROSS HERE ALONGSIDE JERRY 'THE KING' LAWLER AS WE SEE CHRIS PAUL ARRIVE FOLLOWING HIS RECENT SLOBBERKNOCKER WITH RAJON RONDO..."

Totally forgot I had a Twitter account. #hi

(doing this because I want badge. No shame in my game) I earned a badge for bookmarking my audiobooks like a boss (lol). Join in the fun with a free Audible trial.: audible.com/t1/badges_at?s…

Accurate. @grahaminator88

I just remembered I had a Twitter account. #hellostarshine

I expected Brandon Flowers to hop out of my Easter egg, but he didn't. #EggHunt

Yesterday it was February, then I woke up and now it's April. What type of sorcery is this?!

Is it too early for a drink? #askingforme #955am

Introverts are watching A Quiet Place like, “All I gotta do to survive is not make noise?? That sounds like a dream.”

Why can't I look cute when I throw my hair up in a messy bun? 9 times out of 10, I end up looking like the Trunchbull