I didn’t think the Trader Joe’s parking lot could get any worse and then quarantine came along

One of my students just threw rubber bands everywhere while singing bands make her dance

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL 🎉🙆✌️☀️🌊👙

95 never fails to slow me down

Why is Samir | CLONE such a turd burgler?

Called a Craigslist number to find Brent a couch. Gotta hurry up cause the guy is "going to shoot guns here in a little bit" #texas

#lenny #nofriendsjustcats @erinohreally

Always spending way too much money #broke

If you want a good laugh, google "Bethany Wagemann Myspace"

Colder in Texas than North Carolina #brrrrrrr

In bed at 830 and couldn't be happier

I burned 714 calories at spin class tonight and then I ate half a pizza #iworkout #soicaneatmorefood

Using the planet fitness bumper stickers to get the white cat hair off my black workout pants #judgementfreezone

If you're "not a sweets person," then we won't be friends

The only type of social media that I have but my students don't is #timehop they haven't even heard of it. I'm officially old

Things I'm going to write in my students' yearbooks: HAGS, LYLAS, HAKAS, and of course the classic I'm the first to sign your crack

@MelJWalsh hahahah 🙈 I was totally a LYLAS girl

@MelJWalsh "gonna miss u sOoOo much gurlie kit lylas" <- that was me 10 years ago and me again tomorrow. That message applies to you as well

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion..."