hey steam? can you.. please not suddenly set up my screenshot button to an "insta exit game" one?? fanks... 😂😂🥲

with my thick leather jacket and a too small and tight children's backpack, I board the train in 26°c heat. I don't plan on surviving the ride but I will go down with style

and because I have only ever watched shrek 1 I will now watch every single other movie of the franchise while running daily dungeons thank you it will take some days see you

will I ever get out of bed? probably not. but did I just learn what a curry comb is? definitely!

whoever said that they wouldn't fucking crumble all over my bed (me) clearly doesn't know how crackers work (it was me)

I wish I had a horse so I didn't have to choose between holding my phone or my capri sun while guiding my ride along 😔

scratch that. just give me a third arm. one special lil capri sun-holder

no. you know what? let's be greedy. a third arm AND a horse!

it worries me to see 13 year olds already taller than me. not because I feel too small but damn you're already so tall how much further do you intend to go?! where will you stop??

what s a sunday morning if you ca'nt indulge in a bit of substance abuse

just me and my choccymilk. like god intended

I've just learned that vagazzling was a thing and I will never be the same again.. The name is bomb tho. A++

area girl doesn't know if half eaten apple lost somewhere in flat or already completely eaten.

tfw you read the entire wikipedia article on pebbles, because the fanfiction you're writing has to be impeccable..

"A right thing can also be a wrong thing. It all depends on perspective." - Stephenie Meyer or sth

Das klingt nach Spaß! Die ganze #heuteshow in der Mediathek: kurz.zdf.de/hs2121tw/

ich muss sagen, ich mag den ofenelfen doch litte. internal- and frienship-hate

people don't wash their clothes at night because they're COWARDS!

Rubbing my French press like a genie's lamp, to double the amount of caffeine my coffee will have.