I had to make a run for it but that sucker just kept on flying around in there

I really don’t like birds

Have you ever been in the situation where you spell something one way and see everyone spelling it another way so you change the way you spell it only to then look it up and see that your way was the right way all along and you now are an idiot

I would indeed need a parents supervision even tho I’m 30

I miss my Tyler

Do you ever wake up and just grunt your way out of bed because you’re now old and your back hurts while your brain is exploding cause you drank two glasses of wine

This vegan trend is going out of control. A 2 year old girl was so malnourished that she was hours away from dying because her family forced a vegan diet on her

Honey yes

Painkillers is such a literal name for it, must had a blast coming up with that name

I’ve missed summer but slightly humid weather and my makeup is running faster than Usain Bolt

It’s not pretty, I look like a melting wax doll

Woke up and felt destroyed

The instruction on body-lotion should say “requires two people” bc it’s way too big of a job for one person and it’s impossible to do your own back

If not then I dont know how I should label my feelings for Ryan gosling

My popsocket just keeps on falling off but I don’t want to let it go, guess we both got attachment problems

Man I’m way too old to stay up all night

Being awake when your body goes from drunk to hungover is awful. You can feel yourself slowly getting destroyed while you remember every bad choice perfectly

I need help

Best way to sober up? Cus I’m going to work and can still taste my last beer

Can’t help with that but I got pound cake