feels like the chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning

It’s a big club. And you ain’t in it.

i assure you, cat owners, your house does not “smell clean”

I don’t want a sex robot. I just want housing and healthcare and food for everyone. I fucking hate it here.

Every episode of 30 Rock contains one (1) immutable prophecy.

Patented invention from 1963 designed to help women give birth easily [📹Hashem Al-Ghaili] x.com/i/status/18780…

King sized reese's for us meeses

This is the way anna saved latin wdyed looked at me when I said I was tired of eating jalapeño poppers.

derry girls pilot was really one for the history books

This could be us. With all drugs. Safe, predictable supply. Let adults make their own choices. Prohibition kills.

Having a relatively pleasant interaction with a C-tier friend or acquaintance who sort of annoys you in a hard to articulate way will have you thinking like hm perhaps I’ve been too hard on bro

Great news Liz, I'm playing Robbie Williams in his new biopic. He's being portrayed as a CGI chimpanzee and I'll be doing motion capture. Jeremée Chalomet will be the voice. No relation.

I wish instead of donating to 500 different gofundme's, I could give a portion of my income to say - the government and they would distribute it to people in need and programs to help all citizens...that all of the work of rebuilding wasn't on the average person...

They dress like ice skaters

Me getting ready for the the 8th grade class trip

William Henry Harrison rn

born to be MLB commissioner, forced to be a war criminal

2025 Best Picture Oscar nominees as 30 Rock screenshots 1. WICKED