Hey everyone just wanna say thanks for following me! I want you all to do me a favor and PLEASE lower your expectations. Whatever you thought this was going to be, divide it by 1000

Everyone please Venmo me $ to buy an insane amount of energy drinks. I wanna see how I perform

Someone please tell me how Maroon 5 or Adam Levine or whoever was nominated for a Grammy. They were cancelled like 4 years ago

Guys would be perfect if they didn’t have feet

The most important thing I’ve ever been taught was how to waft a scent

Stop chilluming

I honestly think the only place it is acceptable to be obligeratingly drunk or high is a theme park

hey what’s up it’s ya girl phat pussy