Day 1 of posting until Jiminy Glick is brought back on air full time. #makeithappen youtu.be/RoUAp9HCUv0?si…

Happy 4th of July! 🇺🇸 💥 Contractually obligated to post every year!

After much deliberation, I’m prepared to go on record. Mexican style dips, ranked: 1. Mango/Pineapple salsa 2. Queso 3. Pico De Gallo style salsa 4. Guacamole 5. All other salsas

Welp, it was nice at least thinking I was kinda smart. *resumes banging a square block into a round hole, turns back up music*

The Background: Summer watermelon consumption avg is one every 2-3 days. The Question: Who in their right mind would choose a “seeded” watermelon? Why be distracted? The Answer: (reply stating your case) Dave Portnoy, thoughts? P.S. sugar baby option, always.

Something must be going right in the world, because this clip is on my #fyp #classic #forthelads #savagegarden

…or just by your order/the name you gave yourself. Sincerely, “Chicken Wrap Daddy”

In life I operate generally at a fast pace and often impatient. Rarely ever do I eat fast food, but having made my way through the assembly line of a @ChipoTweets at lunchtime rush hour - I just survived a minor panic attack. #thoughtsandprayers #burritowasgoodtho

In honor of #electionday, I’m putting Succession Season 4, Episode 8 on repeat - until my brain believes it’s actually BTS footage of my local news station. O/U is 4.5. #disgustingbrosdecide #connorroywritein

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was released OTD in 1988. This was originally a project for Mick Jagger and David Bowie, they dropped out and Michael Caine and Steve Martin were brought in. Caine said it was 'the funniest film I ever made'. 'May I go to the bathroom first?'

Excuse me while I go run through that brick wall. #usahockey

Me: “I operate well under pressure, with extreme attention to detail, in high stress circumstances without distraction, and high accountability.” Interviewer: “Can you share an example?” Me: “my wife and I do back to back swim lessons with our 6 mos + 3 year old every Sunday”

And next month you’re going to be here talking about how the performance on less compute is based on simple adjustments to the engineering approach, then you’re going to be talking large scale malicious attacks under the protection of “user input”… God I love this meme(+movie)

Thoughts and prayers to every person born after the year 2000, now left struggling to explain who Kendrick Lamar is and why he was allowed to perform at the #SuperBowl…

Me right now with an old helmet on in my living room, after 3 fights in the first 9 seconds of USA vs. Canada. #4nationsfaceoff

Add a good playlist in your ears, literally no other feeling like it 🤌

Not on my watch.

What a time to be alive… never deleting this app…

Every semi-well articulated version of this meme could be RT’d into viral oblivion along with the likes of “6-7”… I’d still appreciate seeing them 👏.