what could possibly be the hold up for sensea getting those little yurts up you can stay in!

Did the neighbourhood birds a favour and scattered some of my cat’s premium quality fur on the lawn. If you’re going to nest, nest with the best

Being roasted by people on the spectrum is such an elite experience, I always see this fellow at the thrift store and today he said “you have that tattoo of the death thing…” and he barely paused and said “….but that’s ok” I really love that guy!

My 6 year old has started saying “you silly goose” but the way he says it sounds like he’d rather be saying “you dumb fuck”

my littlest kid added goldfish crackers to his salad as croutons and I gotta say he was really onto something there!!!

saying felines the way some guys say females

My 6 year old said he made a new friend today, “I think his name is Candy Cane or something”

My 8 year old wore a balloon hat (hat made of balloons) to school and he described that scene in mother! basically and the hat got fucked up

My most “kids today!” take/humble brag is that it doesn’t matter how many kids are over here or what is planned they all want to be within 2 feet of me. I do not remember doing this AT ALL as a kid!!! The point is to go away and cause mischief don’t they get it

Two new names my youngest child made up tonight: Harrison McCoke and Pie Steve

It sucks that I’ll never have my dream job: writing Charlie’s angels episodes

If my weed pen made a slide whistle noise my life would be complete!!!

That’s that me contoso (SharePoint training version)

Every time I found out what the final 4 words in Connections have in common it’s news to me!

really weird and sweet human behaviour: signing a cast

This would be a great Christmas gift: a calendar from eBay from 1986 or 1997, the dates match up!

Getting old is sneaking off with another mom to get high at the family friendly campground during s’mores o’clock, then getting to bed at a reasonable hour and googling “turkey scallopini recipes”

Fun fact about me is that I have never bought a lottery ticket and I don’t know how to do it. Do you have to pick numbers? Do they give you numbers? Do you find out right away? Or is there a day the lottery is over.

another reminder to watch the night house this upcoming scary movie season and let it serve as a reminder to my ladies: if he wanted to he would!

Say what you want about the bible but “am I my brothers keeper?” goes extremely hard and I love it