Your REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks are heading to the BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE playoffs once again! Conner Haley was majestic on the mound over 10 innings and Paula Mason was crushing it at the plate. George Foreman Stadium is electric right now ... well, really it's charcoal, we don't do electric cooking.

I reached out to Steaks hero Conner Haley for comment after his big outing to clinch a playoff spot, and the REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks pitcher had this to say: "Ya know, I tend to prefer a fattier piece of meat, with good marbling. Not a fan of lean cuts." Well said, son.

I spoke to Orville Manco ahead of their all-important Game 3 start for the REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks, and they said they were busy getting their bicycle ready for the big game. Only in BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE, folks.

It all comes down to this ... the REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks must win two straight games to advance in the BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE playoffs. Conner Haley, postseason-clinching hero from the regular season, will take on 📱New York Millennials📱 Fynn Doyle in Game 4. My pick: Steaks 8 - Mills 6

It wasn't to be for the REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks, who fought hard but could not pull off a clutch victory to extend the series against 📱New York Millennials📱. Sebastian Telephone finished with all 5 RBIs for the Steaks and looks to be riding high heading into the offseason fiesta.

Hey Canada Moist Talkers, stop on by George Foreman Stadium for our Steaks Insider Presents: Playoffs Watch Party. We've got some juicy steaks and other meatless alternatives to congratulate you on a great season.

Blood for the Bloodhouse🩸⚾️ Patreon.com/blaseball

I think someone needs to talk to the 📱New York Millennials📱 about the benefits of home ownership. I'd imagine your Crown Heights apartment doesn't let you have a charcoal grill, and that's just wrong. Move upstate. Enjoy having a yard.

Sources tell me Thomas Dracaena hit a ground out to Edric Tosser.

Congratulations to Hades Tigers Official Fan Club ! We're not rooting for tame the tigers yet, but y'all do gotta calm down

And congrats to 📱New York Millennials📱 too! That's some great blaseball y'all played!

temperateseamonkeys.bandcamp.com/track/san-cris… first single from the temperate sea monkeys ep is now live i am nervous, but hopeful

This just in: My sources tell me that some BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE teams will receive blessings today. Also, there will be decrees. One or more teams will be impacted. Stay tuned for all the details.

New Steaks addition Paula Mason among the BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE leaders in home runs in season 4.

New for Season 5: The Steaks have new branding and images for fans to use to support the team. Here's a preview of what's to come.

Leach Herman among the most prolific strikeout artists in BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE ... Well Done!

BREAKING NEWS: The REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks have not been impacted by any of this seasons "blessings," while star pitcher Leach Herman was impacted by reverberations and seems weaker. Star hitter Sebastian Telephone was also impacted, but seems to be handling it better.

Welcome to Season 5 of BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE, splorts fans (...orts fans). This season, the REALLY SUPER EVIL Dallas Steaks are focused on grillin and chillin, so no matter the result of the game, we're always going to say (...ing to say):