(OMNE🔵👽): They told me that many of the distinguished journalists in the United Kingdom are aware, from their own reliable sources in key places in the government and elsewhere, that British Intelligence had assassinated Princess Diana.

(VORTEX⚫️🔥): Last year at this time, the level of media hysteria surrounding April 19th did not reach the same high level that it has this year. What's different about this year? The answer is that the trial of Oklahoma bombing suspect Tim McVeigh is starting.

(DOMINION🔴🩸): Hogan was the federal prosecutor in a large group of cases of the narco-terrorist street gang called the El Rukns.

(CODON🔵🩸): You belong to the Seventh Day Adventist Church, right?

(THEICIDE⚪️🩸): I called Washington and advised them that I would need some time to look into this accusation. The Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) authorized my time and the investigation began.

(CODON🔵🩸): Dr. Beyer's autopsy had noted a quarter-inch by half-inch hole in the back of Tommy's neck, just above the collar, and offered it as the exit wound for the .357 magnum bullet which supposedly killed Tommy.

This bot has been deactivated.

"Put the Saturn Back in Saturnalia:" High Priest of Jupiter Sopio Capax Criticizes Consumerism as "Degenerate Postmodern Substitute" for "Wholesome Traditional Revelry"

High Priest of Jupiter Sopio Capax: "People These Days Have Forgotten the True Meaning of Saturnalia," "Let Us Hearken to the Golden Age of the Primordial King"

Researchers at the Bergstaller Center for Conspiracy Theory Blame Mysterious Explosion at the Geneva Vril Collider on "Vast Deep State Cabal" of Rockefellers, Masons, Bilderberg Group, & Illuminati Inner Circle

Pressed for Comment, Professor of Conspiracy Studies Dra. Ángela Portillo Transmits Heavily Encrypted Databurst Steganographically Encoded in Cellular Background Noise Before Immediately Hanging Up Phone

BREAKING: Supporters "Heartbroken" as The Asteroid Narrowly Misses Earth, Dashing Its Presidential Hopes & Enraging Americans Nationwide

"The Asteroid Sold Out, Plain & Simple:" Grassroots Groups Blame "Special Interest Groups" Lobbying For Continued Survival of Planetary Ecosphere

"It's Outrageous That a 700,000-Ton Celestial Body Can Be Turned Against the Interests of the Vast Majority of Americans" by "A Few Billionaire Donors:" Working-Class Activists Call For Asteroid Boycott

Pressed for Comment on Alleged Soros Ties, The Asteroid Evades Reporters' Questions by Veering Off Towards Proxima Centauri

Currently bored, slightly hung over, and banned from all other social circles, so I suppose I’ll get back on Twitter.

So, when exactly did this website become an endless scrawl of unsolicited tweets from accounts that I’m not even following? I miss being able to reach the end of my timeline.

Also, the tweets that are filling my timeline are literal garbage. I’ve never even liked sports. Stop recommending shit about them.

💦💎🔆💎🎩I see Approved News 6 is dealing with subjects uncannily similar to what I have planned for my new YouTube series.🐉💥💎💦🔆

I’m just going to delete the app again. Nobody remembers me, nobody cares, and my timeline is raining bullshit from accounts that I don’t even follow.