Oh, by the way, I heard you all didn’t miss me, but I’m back anyway.

Hey, Twitter. I’m on stakeout, and bored. Another angry wife, another cheating husband. Not the glamorous work I usually have, but it pays the bills. Anything exciting going on?

Godsdammit. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

Welp, went to the shooting range with a local writer. We put about 200 rounds through paper each. His first mag wasn’t so hot, but he caught on quick after I gave a couple of pointers. Very not bad.

Hey, folks. I heard you missed me. I’m back.

Good gods, what in the nine hells did I miss?

You know, with all the bullshit happening in you all’s world, it almost makes my world look like paradise.

Gods, between what I’m hearing from my transcriptionist @Walker875 and finding out my cohort Larrisimus has a birdie account... Is the whole godsdamned world nuts, or is it me? It’s me, isn’t it?

Hey, folks. That a-hole of a stenographer I have, @Walker875, is getting a new chronicle together. If he can get off his ass and write it, that is.

Hey, Harry Dresden. Nice work. Not spoiling for others. Just next time, give the WHOLE story to your biographer so we don’t have to wait as long, eh?

Search your name in GIFs & pick one that best sums up this year. Accurate.

*sees Converse sneakers showing up on my timeline* *sees the MVP stepping off the plane wearing them* *lacing my own high-tops up* Hell yeah. The lady’s got style. #BidenHarris2020 #MVPHarris

Had a pretty tough time tonight. Lot of emotions just came out, and it was pretty bad. I’m (relatively) okay now, but I spent about an hour alone, bawling. Not the best way to start a new year, but I’ll be okay.

And this is why the gods like screwing with mortals. We give them too much fucking ammunition.