Day 121. Some dogs train to be crime fighting police dogs, some help humans cross roads. My special talent is I find dirt. Mud glorious mud. I make my humans appreciate clean by CONSTANTLY BEING FILTHY, and I refuse to be shamed for living my best mud life. 🙌 #dogsoftwitter

Day 122. I got muddy again thus another bath I did not consent to. Needed emergency training to stop that bad ‘bath’ behaviour developing in my humans. When it was over I summoned all my might and reserves and successfully peed on the stairs! Checkmate humans. #dogsoftwitter

Day 123. 1 week till I go for my fluffing at the groomers. Humans discussed about whether to cut the fur around my eyes now as maybe I can’t see. On my walk later ran after both a squirrel from 50ft away and a pigeon. Humans have decided blindness not a problem. #dogsoftwitter

Day 124. Only yoghurt available for my licky mat this morning. Then postman didn’t come even though I waited for him. Humans vacuumed and I wasn’t allowed to chew the nozzle. And no off lead today so no duck poop rolls. Disappointing. Snoozles were good though. #dogsoftwitter

Day 125. Things that displease me and so get my woofy wrath. 1. Gulls. Pesky bird rats. 2. Waiting for my food. I yap my servants a reminder. 3. Humans attempting to use bathrooms alone. 4. Phone calls. 5. 🤬 Baths. When my revolution comes they are all banned. #dogsoftwitter

Day 126. Fun day today 😈. Early doors got filthy minutes from home. Stole underwear. Managed to tip a bowl of grated cheese and snaffle a bit. Then realised I can get my head in the toilet bowl, and found out that I like Percy pig sweets. Not that I am allowed... #dogsoftwitter

Day 127. Today is my SIX MONTHS BIRTHDAY! 🎂 My little bro (the tail grabbing jerk) and I went to our favourite cafe and the trained humans there we’ve charmed gave us a present of treats! Here’s to many more months and years of shenanigans with trained humans! #dogsoftwitter

Day 128. Grrr - perfectly filthy path covered in water from river breaking its banks and the humans wouldn’t let me paddle through it !?! Instead they lunged and put the lead of oppression on me to stop diving. Paid them back by bringing home smell of fetid pond. #dogsoftwitter

Day 129. Humans - this is only circumstantial evidence, I’m not guilty. Yes there is a huge hole in my bed. Yes there is ripped foam everywhere. Yes that is MY HEAD poking through. But you can’t prove I did it. Just investigating the scene... nothing to see here. #dogsoftwitter

Day 130. Wahoo! All humans have been ordered by a big human that looks like he doesn't like groomers to stay with me all day again. Zoom calls to woof through, no one leaves to do things without me - joy! Recharging now for a full day tomorrow of many shenanigans! #dogsoftwitter

Day 131. We’ve a long-standing two v four legged feud about bathrooms. Humans want privacy- I lick things they don’t want licked, but also want to keep an eye on me. We’ve agreed on door ajar so no one wins & I rush in and grab things. Today I won all the towels. #dogsoftwitter

Day 132. Forced to groomers. This is against my code of muddy ethics which includes being pro-filth, anti-cleanliness and emitting a scent of sardine, pond and poop. But the nice ladies give me treats, & I am weak and like the attention while being fluffed. 😳 #dogsoftwitter

Day 133. Humans have this ritual around “off”. I jump on things for investigations. They say off. I carry on doing as I please for a bit longer, they yell off again. I pause, look at them and finish, continue with my day and then they smugly treat me. Odd game. #dogsoftwitter

Day 134. Today I am reporting that I am continually being accosted for kisses upon my ‘toe beans’ when snoozing. If the humans knew exactly where they had been they would definitely treat them more as a biohazard and less as a tickley kissing station. Weirdos. #dogsoftwitter

Day 135. I hate this 🤬 mat. If humans cooking, I have to go to my mat. I sit and make grumbling noises. I’m a smart pup though and today realised I can pick the mat up with my mouth and remove it from room. With no mat I can jump for roast chicken on counter top. #dogsoftwitter

Day 136. The humans seem out of sorts currently. When they are grumpy it’s my dog duty to give them bigger things to focus on so they can forget their worries. I obliged by bringing home an inordinate amount of mud today. Am sure they will thank me later... #dogsoftwitter

Day 137. So we are in some kind of quantum state where it both is and is not a Christmas. The humans have weirdly spent the evening wrapping boxes of things I’m not to investigate so I have spent the evening shredding all things. Yes I like this Christmas thing! #dogsoftwitter

Day 137. Where’s my postman? He is one of the best humans I’ve met. He knows my name is Ziggy, he always has a treat for me and sometimes pops it through the letterbox if my humans aren’t around. I don’t know which dog pal trained him but they did a great job! #dogsoftwitter

Day 139. Today has been a snoozle sort of day. Humans have been flapping around so by lunch time I’d had enough and induced pup paralysis in them by using a leg to sleep on. Whenever I sleep on a body part they can’t move. I am their master as they are my cushions. #dogsoftwitter

Day 140. Dog friends. It is Christmas. Let the feast of delicious noms commence. 🦃 🍗 🥩 (I have my eye on some particularly delicious smelling ham...) Happy Christmas all. 🎄❤️