my grandad started walking 5 miles aday when he was 16 now hes 97 we havent got a clue where he is

At the Olympics I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and I asked him . “Are you a pole vaulter” He replied “no I’m German but how do you know my names Walter”

My Mrs kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions but don’t worry I’ll return

Lock up ya daughters xx

Went into the chemist and asked an assistant "What gets rid of coronavirus?" She said "Ammonia cleaner" I said "I'm sorry, I thought you worked here"

When asked if he preferred legs or breasts Paddy replied, "I have a particular fondness for shaved fannies." He was informed that this wasn't an option with a KFC bargain bucket!

My friend says to me: “what rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t

airbnb.co.uk/rooms/54172877…

Check out this home on Airbnb! abnb.me/3llitjGsQmb

Sat in the Stretford end with my 3 grandsons money can’t buy that Robert Taylor. 🏆🏆🏆🏆 the Taylor’s are turning red we are fighting back xx

now then now then

If you come from Manchester you're sure to be a blue... Moston, Collyhurst, Salford, Ancoats too, and if you think that this is true you're nothing but a fool, 'Cause in this town of Manchester, Man United rule TRA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WE ALL HATE CITY Robert Taylor. 🏆🏆🏆🏆 love ya x

Right guys, as you know, I need more followers to land a job with SBK. So… I’m giving away a signed replica Manchester United 1994 home shirt. To enter, all you need to do is RT this tweet and make sure you’re following me. Winner announced 5pm Thursday. Good luck!! 👍 #GetGaryAJob

Now the seasons starting come on let’s have it

🔵 When Cole Palmer unlocked infinite aura! 😮‍💨