If there’s one thing I now know, is that I cannot do all day wedding vibes. I’m not cut out for this shit 😩

Could do with an IV of wine tonight after my day in work 🥲🫠

This man is putting EYEDROPS in and saying “I never thought a girl would bring me to tears🥺” I am deaddddddd 🤣 men are clowns fr. #LoveIsBlind3

I have horrible taste in men, if I have ever liked you please work on yourself

Me: Good vibes only Also me:

I definitely shouldn’t work in retail, pissing it down with rain & every customer that comes in soaked im just here thinking why the fuck are you out in this weather. Instead of oooh good someone’s coming in the shop 🙃😂

You really see just how idiotic men are on Christmas week. Like sir, if you don’t know what your wife of 25yrs wants for Christmas by now then how the fuck am I supposed to ☺️? & a bonus stupid point, 90% don’t even know what size they need. HOW DO I KNOW?!

i have a “wtf is wrong with people” moment at least five times a day

My nan & grampa had an Alexa for Christmas, so far they use it exclusively to ask “Alexa tell us a joke” about 10 times a day 😂

she’s a reader, an overthinker and she’s bad at maths

Just had a flashback of myself belting songs from Les Mis outside The Globe Saturday night, & all I can say to everyone who was witness is, you’re welcome 😌 (but actually what I’d like to say is I can’t be left unattended after a drink💀)

Give me the money honey 😌💷

I feel the chance of getting Taylor Swift tickets slipping through my fingers, and with it my will to live. 🥲

Lord, grant me the confidence of absolutely below mediocre men on the internet.

Not me falling UP the stairs in walkabout… UP?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

What are you doing for Christmas? Me:

Anonymous.

men used to do this and now they just fire react your instagram stories

ANNOUNCEMENT: after much reflection, I’ve decided that my last five years of aging doesn’t count, as they took place under strange and unusual circumstances. please respect my decision and feel free to join me