You’re one in a Million. That means there are 320 of you in the USA alone. Find yourself. Start an Army. Overthrow the government. Claim world dominance. ⚔️🐍

I went outside today, it’s very peopley out there. Do not recommend.

Sakaar was a fun place ⚔️

If you touch my tesseract again, I’ll break your neck like a bendy straw. ⚔️

Hopefully the world will take over itself and save me the hassle. 🐍⚔️

“Remember that all sentences must have a noun, a verb, and the phrase ‘foolish mortals’. “⚔️🐍

I don’t know about you mortals... but I don’t see a difference here.

Everything is ruined. There’s no point to life anymore. No meaning to existence. Everything is helfire and everything is burning. My life is ruined, there is no use to anything anymore.

Where’s my Thursday knife??Thor brought me my Tuesday knife but unlike you uncouth mortals, I have a set schedule, I do not just stab with any old knife!!

If I was in a room with Thor, Odin and Laufey; and only two ‘One-Time-Use’ Daggers, I would stab Thor... Twice.

Are assassinations illegal on Midgard?? Asking for a friend.

You can’t spell Mischief without Me... so I’ll need to see your permission slips before you go pranking people.

Life is like a box of chocolates... some people are deathly allergic.

Would I rather be feared or loved?? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

‘Blackmail’ is such an ugly word. I prefer ‘extortion’. 🗡

RUMOR: Marvel Studios is reportedly already planning a second season for the #Loki series on @disneyplus! bit.ly/2vcmAP8

I'm proud of Johnny Depp for being able to stand up and tell the truth and admit what happened to him with his ex-wife. That takes guts. Trust me, I know. Good on him, man.

How many times am I going to be imprisoned? First Thanos, then Asgard, then those measly “Avengers”, then the TVA, and now this Midgardian Virus? I miss Sakaar.

Ever thought about letting the world burn just so you can toast some marshmallows?? 🤔🤔