lets talk about r ex baby. yeah i bet u thought i was gonna say sex. well guess what. im talkin t rex. im talkin big boy small arms huge neck. hes a honkin tonkin mean machine made from pure angst and rupturing with the gravitational pull of the entir

I said wait isn’t Kansas city in Oklahoma and my other bartender agreed with me so I think everything is going to be okay

Have to chug 5 glasses of water very loudly before my boyfriend wakes up

Smiths day so I’ll tell you my favorite morrisey lore which is that when he was performing in NYC he stayed at the hotel my friend was the head bartender at and ordered veal parmigiana for his entire team every night :)

Gotta be buzzed enough to be able to yell “enough with the nerd shit” at a guy talking about elden ring

Woman sitting at my bar (who ordered a double of the nicest tequila we have) called my limes weak and pathetic

In my restaurant filled w only male coworkers currently bumping the saddest femme playlist of all time they know my vibe

I have a headache and he doesn’t even care 😔😔( he is asleep next to me)

Two girls with thick thighs should NOT sit next to each other on the subway 🙅‍♀️

I was in this too but the director told me to get under the table and Charli told everyone to kick me as hard as they could throughout the whole scene. It was the worst day of my life

Everyone is getting mad at me again at the bar cus I’m playing unreleased Lana del Rey

FOLLOWING YOU ON INSTAGRAM?????

My last night on the UES IS when I would be nearly murdered by a drunk white man

Ordered a cappuccino in brasil and they asked if I wanted whip cream (?) I freaked out and said yes

Whatever

Goood for HER I tell off people at my work all the time

Gonna miss my boyfriend being unemployed cus why’d he just make me fried chicken and waffles at 5am before I go to work

Woman just asked if I would comp an entire tab for her friends birthday and then said “it’s called a buyback, I used to be a bartender” 🤨 ur lucky Im behind this bar maam