Same @ over on Bluesky if you're missing that sweet spleenly cream in your coffee.

I got the 'X' this morning and deleted the app from my phone. Catch you on the flip side.

Elon Musk personally controls 53% of all operating satellites.

'I can fix him'

Vet tech: that's why we're here, doctor.

Tradwife implies the existence of 7 tradchildred and 49 tradgrandchildren.

...and over here is an office dedicated to not being caught coordinating directly with our superpac.

How come everyone is coughing in the Walmart back-to-school section.

Buying lumber and returning it on a receipt from 90 days ago for some temporal cellulosic arbitrage.

Just paid $14 for an incandescent lightbulb. Thomas Edison is laughing up at me from hell.

My toilet appears to be quinoa intolerant.

Hanging in while it's still retro on my phone, then probably bye.

Scientists hope to have them swimming in your eyeballs by Christmas.

This vaguely threatening promotion on a platform they partially own takes me back to the free 'informative' literature they provided to social studies classrooms in the 80s.

I am here to cultivate an online presence most wretched and foul and like, super silly

Texas with that sweet school to for profit prison pipeline

Working neither smarter nor harder but a secret third way.

My new life plan is to exfoliate until I become a whole new person.

this place will always be Twitter no matter what the brand says. Just like the cuomo bridge, or whatever they tried to change it to, will always be the Tappan Zee.

'Hey, can you write up that work you did for us so we can apply for a patent?' 😑

Once the cars are all electric we switch the air conditioners to gasoline.