#QuoteOfTheNight: “Well, we have full-scale nude Novich, and he’s in the audience.” #NudeNovich

Bowen saying “tig ‘ol bitties” made my year. “They cause me back pain.”

I didn’t put on pants today

Today I’m thankful for: - A loving family - My good friends - The 40 grape tomatoes I dropped on the kitchen floor which rolled far behind my fridge and kept me busy for an hour.

TFW you think you cough up blood, have a dizzying panic attack, then realize you had those super dope CVS cherry cough drops 30 minutes ago.

I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for pop songs about quarantine.

Ventriloquists have an easy job these days.

Matched! Match my donation here: minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate

I am BEYOND honored.

I haven't tweeted in a while.

I ate a curry that was too spicy and then I had a real panic attack.

Remember cheap soda?

Everybody at the DMV is drinking off brand orange juice.

Are there any shapes that haven't been discovered? Sounds like a cool thing to do maybe.

The best gift you can give your mom this Mother's Day is my birthday because it's my birthday give me presents.

On my walk home I passed a man with his arms around two women. I'm holding a stuffed cartoon banana.

I keep trying to send money on Vimeo.

Today I rolled out of bed and bought a slide whistle.

Sonic and Denise DeHedgehog

I bet stars are really hot.