So one time I dreamed of something illegal..... I'd tell you what it was, but I forgot what it was as soon as I woke up. All I know it that it was illegal. My mind is so paranoid that it erased the very last witness to the crime. ~Binja, longing for the sweet release of sleep

I've been with Unus Annus from Day 2 and I'm so proud to have been here through it all. Thanks for all the memories, especially for my birthday video, the Strip Poker one. I think my favorite was the obstacle course. Thanks guys. #wewerehere #UnusAnnusisoverparty #mementomori

One time I had a dream where I had to choose between eating an ice cream sundae with candied bell peppers on top or a sundae with candied tomatoes on top. That dream disturbs me to this very day. ~Binja, trying not to think of the taste of candied bell peppers

So my nose spontaneously started bleeding and I shoved a tissue up it because ain't nobody got time for that and when it soaked through I pulled it out to change it and I swear I just had my period come out my nose ~Binja, thinking of how much I despise the Sweet Home adaptation

Whenever I lucid dream, my dreams just fall apart around me, like vehicles and powers stop working. Last night I started to gain a semblence of lucidness and lost the ability to fly when attempting to escape some aliens or something. I think I was running with my Old... (1/2)

Language Arts teacher and I remember asking her dead serious how to prevent dreams from breaking down around you when lucid dreaming and I still remember the absolute look of "Wtf" that crossed her face. ~Binja, feeling bad for whatever entity that controls my dreams (2/2)

So you know how if you have a sandwich and you cut it in half you now have two sandwiches? Well I've been thinking, why doesn't someone just take a single sandwich and make like a billion sandwiches out of it. I mean come on man, its so simple, world hunger solved ~Cracker

I'm the type of person that's so lazy that when going out I won't change out of sweatpants and will instead wear knee high boots so you can't tell what type of pants I'm wearing underneath a dress. As of now, my Mother has yet to catch on :D ~Binja, donning said pants of comfort

Eggs are the tastiest of periods we as a species have tried so far. I think its high time we dedicated our time and money to finding the next egg, for scientific and culinary gains of course. ~Cracker, a man who loves eggs

How many shower arguments does one have to win before they're ready to negotiate with a terrorist in a hostage situation? Asking for a friend ~Cracker

I just realized why all Americans act like morons, it's not because our education system is the equivalent of dumpster fire, but rather because we use the superior imperial measurement system. We're not brain dead, we're just too busy figuring out how long a mile is ~Cracker

Bro like how do you hack a pipeline? Did someone just stuff a bunch of leaves in it to clog it up like a gutter? If that's the case I think someone should just take a match and use some of that fuel to burn away the leaves. Problem solved, no need to thank me ~Cracker

How does one snort coke, I've been trying all night, but the stupid stuff won't keep mounded in a line on my table. Now not only am I not high, but now my socks are wet. Don't trust those drug vending machines y'all ~Cracker

Cold pizza is just an open faced sub sandwich ~Cracker

The first person to describe a food as chalky would have had to previously eaten chalk to be able to find the similarities between the two substances. I may be a complete moron, but at least I'm no chalk eater ~Cracker

Friendly reminder that every single twitter user is a basement dweller. Trust me, I'm an expert on this ~Cracker

Shout out to the time where Cracker and I discussed a witch society where the height of your hat showed your societal status and he brought up the fact that the lowest ranking witches would probably wear bowler hats ~Binja, wearing a Sombrero purchased at a Garage Sale

You ever just have spontaneous nose bleeds like every other day and concern everybody who's in after-school drama when you have to continuously keep running to the makeup room to shove toilet paper up your nose? #relatatable, am I right? ~Binja, totally not nose bleeding