oh the warmth of being considered safe by something so much smaller than you

At a weed store you can say, " I want something to help me sleep that won't make me wonder if my back door is unlocked," and they will take you seriously, think hard about it, and then say something like, "have you tried Ooga Booga Skywalker cake?"

Oops being asking for a picture for employee of da month made me realize i dont take picture of myself anymore

Your 20s will teach you that you’ll be alone on the saddest day of your life but the sun will rise again and you’ll live

all roads lead back to the loneliness i felt as a child

Breaking news 🚨🇹🇭 In Thailand, a cat that repeatedly bit police officers was taken to the station, photographed for a mugshot, had its paw prints taken, and was officially declared a “repeat offender.”

I miss every cat I’ve ever met

>was serving a couple >they were bickering 'ill pay' 'no ill pay' >the girl tapped her card first >card was declined >guy smirked, tapped his card >card was also declined

cats at 3am:

bro you're a such fake give-uper i saw you persevere time and time again even when you thought there was nothing worth fighting for. i'm proud of you bro. i truly believe in you.

twitter is cigarette for the eyes

negarse al amor por miedo a sufrir es como negarse a vivir por miedo a morir

i need to sit under a tree about this

I am a friend to all cats, even the little mean ones. They have their reasons

not recognizing urself has to be top 3 worst feelings ever

4 pairs of shoes that i have not been able to get rid of.