GUYS I BEEN EATIGN THESE FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES THEYRE FUCKING WAX MELTS????

If you arent eating my fancy little cakes right now you may as well just give up. Come on down to Beaus pickle stand and get one of my fancy little cakes that have fresh picked flowers and herb sprigs on them or youre basically a waste of space and air.

A few powerful Suit Studies w/ Billy 😌

My career as a slippery Wild West outlaw was tragically cut short after being shot to death by every sheriff from every county all at once

Tossing a quarter to a squirrel, finger guns at a stray cat, putting my jacket over a puddle for a rat, dapping up a cockroach

i am not good at alchemy #KCD2

I can’t tonight…

Im autistic and my special interest is threatening people

First thing they taught me at Business School was that a little evil goes a long way, but a lot of evil goes an even longer way. Then shapes, colors, that sort of thing,, Numbers, sure, numbers.. Not all of them, of course, that would be too much to teach. But we did get up to 99

Gotta make my way over to my old boss's location or whateva, e's not all there but e's a freakin genius! Thought the fella died all perminint-like but ayy, what a fun suprise! Billy's back on the up n up, babeyy! 😉

This thing don't think i'm human! Can ya believe it?? im at least halfway one athose n that's gotta count fer somethin! gotta. like things. play nice with the other jerks on here or somethin

And like yeahhh the guy might explode me in a fit of rage or send me on anotha dagger fetch quest where i get melted but!!! the loon offers a robust dental plan. Ain't too many villains offering dental is all im sayin

(mobster showing chakra body map to his goons) it flows like a river, capisce

Here's your Flat white boss

I accidentally stopped a robbery in a restaurant once. I saw patrons cowering under tables. My eyes scanned across the room. My slow gaze met the robber’s as I slurped up my spaghetti. Pride. I was mortified that my deafness put me in this position. And pissed at myself. I

*you are getting washed in our business negotiations and try and to take out your impotent rage by punching the wall but your hand crumples and breaks* this isn't your shitty mcmansion playboy, that's solid oak

People calling out for their mother in their last moments is so strange to me because why would you expect your mother to be a source of comfort? My therapist, burning a hole in their notebook: …

Many people want to do terrible things to me like tearing me limb from limb,or breaking my kneecaps with aluminum bats, But I am always quick as a rabbit and clever as a fox so it will never happen