Meet our Executioner (played by Michael Vollers). Poor guy got all dressed up for nothing. The condemned prisoner just gave the Yeomen guards the slip. They had one job! Come see Yeomen of the Guard THIS WEEKEND, Fri thru Sun Mar 31 to Apr 2! Tickets: carolinatheatre.org/events/live-ev…

Meet our jailer, Wilfred Shadbolt (played by Stuart Albert). Wilfred is so over being a jailer. He’d rather be a comedian. And court jester Jack will teach him how. All Wilfred has to do is tell one tiny lie... Yeomen of the Guard THIS WEEKEND: carolinatheatre.org/events/live-ev…

Meet our Dame Carruthers (played by Kim Kingsley). Nothing gets by the housekeeper of the Tower. Whatever it is, she’ll find out eventually. If she’s not too distracted by that cute sergeant of the yeomen. Come see Yeomen of the Guard, running 3/31-4/2! carolinatheatre.org/events/live-ev…

IT'S OPENING NIGHT! Meet our Kate (played by Teddy McKrell), Dame Carruther’s niece. Dear diary, Kate writes, you’ll never guess what I heard Elsie say in her sleep last night. I can’t wait to tell my aunt. Come see Yeomen of the Guard TONIGHT! carolinatheatre.org/events/live-ev…

It’s your last chance to see Yeomen of the Guard! Meet two of our yeomen (played by Chris Newlon and Houston Horn). Guarding the Tower of London was supposed to be a cushy job for old soldiers. Until a condemned prisoner vanished into thin air. Tickets: carolinatheatre.org/events/live-ev…

My cat bullies me into taking him outside every day after work now and honestly I can’t blame him

"A Day in Durham, NC" by (not) Wes Anderson

I love these people 💕

There are some people in this airport with the typing sounds still turned on on their phones 🤯

Perhaps more disturbing, about every 10th person in this airport has a disgusting cough 😷

The amount of man spreading and leg jiggling on this flight was frankly unacceptable

*gets drunk, skips supper, watches lesbian Ultimatum with bff on vacation, weeps openly For Love*

Happy day when it’s super funny to text men you haven’t spoken to in over a year with a “happy Father’s Day” message just to see what chaos will ensue! #stayToxic

Cat mom amateur moment: Laid out a black sweater on my bed, planning to wear it later. Instant cat-on-top. And he looked so cute I didn’t move him. 🙄

I can’t get a boyfriend because then where would my unfolded laundry sleep #howDatingIsGoing

Him: I like my women like I like my beer. Me: Tall, cold and bitter? Good, you’ll like me then.

May I just say how much I love that gen z made “you got a fat ass” the highest compliment

Repping section 23! #GoDuke!