CDC: Don’t expect normalcy in U.S. after 100 days of vaccine me 99 days from now:

Gonna hail a cab. Get in. Ask driver, "sooo where we headed?"

i ducked autocorrect

this acquits different

Buying this outfit to wear every morning when I log into Robinhood while laying in bed

At breakfast you take a biscuit from the basket but on a fast break you put the biscuit in the basket

gonna tell my kids this was Jon Taffer

can't find one of my sneakers. don't know if I lost it or if it's just being sneaky and hiding

Vets and civilians walked from Boston to the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne -- 65 miles -- to honor the fallen. Via The Patriot Ledger (subscriber only) patriotledger.com/story/news/202…

#FindingFrank

Never judge a book by its face tattoo

...but, alas, white whale was NOT on the shopping list and so Ahab's maddening chase continued

it looks like the LA Rams made the numbers on their uniforms using fruit by the foot

Octoberfest and October First sound the same when a British person says it

i love current events. for halloween i'm dressing up as a current event

Panic! At the Disc Golf competition

At this point I just add a ", you worthless piece of shit" to the end of every headline I read that involves the CDC. it just makes it more honest

Report: Jordan’s Furniture announces annual Red Sox promotion where your furniture is free if you can grit through 9 full innings of watching the team attempting to figure out how to play baseball