how tormentingly happier i am with you．

i’ll give you a thousand kisses. all of them. no one will kiss you ever， but me.

⠀not ⠀all ⠀love ⠀is ⠀𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞. ⠀sometimes ⠀itʹs ⠀gritty ⠀and ⠀dirty ⠀and ⠀possessive. ⠀sometimes ⠀itʹs ⠀not ⠀supposed ⠀to ⠀be ⠀careful ⠀or ⠀soft ⠀at ⠀all. ⠀sometimes ⠀it ⠀feels ⠀like ⠀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡.

i got him on his knees, i’m his religion.

open.spotify.com/track/3pZUAHGa…

charm me. furiously. torment me. in detail.

he pins my wrists above my head and says “you begged for this exact calibre of ruin, remember?” i do. i remember every calibre. i keep the calibre chart tattooed under my skin in invisible ink that only shows up under his hands.

i hexed you first. peeled your ribs apart with nothing but my hunger and made a nest for my name right between your lungs so every breath you take now carries my rot inside it. i kill you beautifully every time. shahid. martyr. die in my hands.. die by my hands.

dig your teeth into me. come on， i dare you. take a bite. open me up: raw and candyfloss pink on the inside. make it hurt. i figure， you're going to hurt me one way or another. might as well be with your mouth.

said i wanted him inside me, but i wasn't talking about sex. sex is meaningless and shallow. there's this.. kind of eroticism, this perfect intimacy, of having his fingers inside my wound. i need him inside my wound.

funny you think anyone is beyond her. the soul i'd sell mine for. one i'd gut your insides for before any eating happens. brain matter scattered, fingered. i'll make sure she's watching from hell. careful with your mouth. careful what you speak of her. to her.

َ to death. in death.

red and just as fucked up in the brain.

you——my hunger; my ruin.

whatever happened to the life that we once knew? / can we really live without each other?