“Spotify’s down? What am I supposed to listen to now?“ Women, my brother.

lost my grinder and i feel like i’ve lost a limb

This is the craziest two part tweet ever.

#NewProfilePic i have not been on this godforsaken app in months it’s time for a change

don’t invite me unless these are the plans

🚨 BREAKING🚨 Footage of the SF-24 has been leaked!

I always feel awful for the elves. You took the job 80 years ago to make some whimsical rocking horses, 4 parts tops. And now you're soldering an iPad motherboard with your arthritic, cinnamon-scented hands. A brutal gig.

hey come over we’re finding the beauty in everything. yes even in the mundane

me, every single month: why do i feel like shit. why am i so bloated. why am i so upset. i have never felt like this before in my life

i need to be here this weekend actually

You put the guy who organised this party during lockdown in the Lords

I don’t know where to start with this . But it’s surely illegal and must be investigated and prosecuted . What sort of monster rams a calf ? Twice ?

The silence from transphobes who scream at the top of their rotted little lungs that women are being made to feel unsafe because of trans women just trying to live their lives. While real sexual predators and rapists go to the Olympics and it’s tumble weed.

A pregnant woman is on trial for calling you a coconut.

My mother was assisting in paediatric surgery when a surgeon made a pedophilic joke related to Epstein files. The whole room laughed. She didn't. After surgery he asked my mother why she didn’t laugh. She simply said: “because i have a daughter, Don't you?" He got offended &