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My Dad calling me: "Hey so you're getting sued."

I had to have a zoom meeting with a lawyer this morning and my username was still "peepeepoopoo" when I joined

I'm irked today

In case anyone was wondering my ranking of the Evil Dead movies are as follows: 1) Evil Dead II 1987 2) The Evil Dead 1981 3) Evil Dead 2013 4) Army of Darkness 1992

A Nine Inch Nails fan telling their partner that they want to do anal stuff: "I wanna fuck you like an enema."

I hope everyone knows that I hate a very specific person rn

There's nothing worse then making coleslaw while working at KFC- why to I have to sit in the fridge to make the Colonel's cum salad?

I now ban everyone to stop saying that LGBTQ pride is being "shoved down their throats." In the meantime, I will personally be delivering pride flags straight to the throats in question to make that statement truthful. I can't handle lying in this beloved country.

Guys listen I know that the Phantom of the opera kidnapped Christine twice and stalked her but like he's handsome and sad and he just needs some kisses I think

I just want the manscaped ad actors to just show their dick and balls

I just want wrestlers to give each other a little smooch before they start fighting

i had a dream i was at taco bell and the screen was videodrome debbie harry telling me to let my body die so i had to make it

He is Risen. and by He. haha well. lets justr say. my peanits

Fiona was such a pussy how about trying being ugly 24/7

Took some shrooms and I'm on a walk where's a fucking swingset

I found a swingset