Dude why is my mind this way

I've decided I'm now into foursomes That way when someone backs out, it's still a threesome

I don't know who you are But I will find you And I will block you

Dude, imagine taking a bath in hot mayonnaise

Boy I really wish I could stop living in the middle of back to back historical events right now

Strictly speaking, you could use a penis as a pez dispenser

Normal people: eat their food Me: uses butter as a food group

Gas prices are so high, I saw a Dodge Ram doing the speed limit

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Imagine if furries put 1/10th the effort into helping their local community as they do trying to ruin the life of (insert whoever drew the short straw) each month.

I KNOW MY PENIS IS SMALL I DON'T NEED EMAILS TELLING ME HOW TO MAKE IT BIGGER IT'S MY LITTLE TIC-TAC

If someone walks in on your having sex: keep going If you stop, you were the one caught doing the hanky panky. If you keep going, they're the pervert who was watching!

I'm literally shaking rn. I don't know if I can trust any more Why the fuck are they called toilet paper squares when they're objectively a rectangle?

Pizza and lasagna are basically the same thing The only difference is the puffiness of the pasta, and whether it's steamy or creamy

Why balls have a stitch line?

Pre is just your dick salivating

If you think about it, there's a perfect height from which you can drop an egg, such that the heat generated during reentry would generate a perfectly hard-boiled meteor-egg

Fuck you Enima's your IV

No u