Leaving the house on Black Friday doesn’t endanger your life these days like it used to

Me when i’m on the western front

She said y’all don’t get it. My daughter is soooooo stupid

Me sneaking a rotisserie chicken in the movies .

panera’s like “yeah our lemonade’s charged……..with murder”

nightmares are so embarrassing bro like u literally made up a guy and got scared of him

on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me 55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS

"Scratch Disks Full" just say you hate me

me when I’m on a call with someone

You wouldn’t believe the fit I’m cooking up rn

Me when I’m the least important person in a 40+ person meeting and I don’t know what anyone is talking about

you got a fast car i got a plan to get us out of here

when you leave things for tomorrow and tomorrow arrives

..about HER involvement!

mild dune 2 spoilers but this is the funniest thing I ever seen

I want to circle my friend’s apartment building with this when they have do not disturb on

This signals the official end of Toyotathon

they should let me go inside everyones house just to see