🎶Trump indicted and it feels so good🎵

“PSYCHOS’” “BIDDEN” Fucking potatoe.

Ryan Seacrest gets offers to host TV shows the way the rest of us get spam emails.

My wife and I are visiting London for a few days. Our hotel is quite close to Buckingham Palace. Sadly, I did not sleep well on the flight, so I was too tired today to be funny to try to make the guards laugh.

So interesting how little Hollywood cared about releasing holiday-themed movies anywhere near the holidays they depicted back then. Miracle on 34th Street also came out in June, a year earlier.

Doc is here? Doc is not here? Doc is here!

I agree 100% but it’s not like we non-fascist Gen Xers can bring it up at the next meeting.

At least Homer ate his one slice at a time.

So Palisades Mall (Be In Touch Palisades Mall) has tons of stores and restaurants, a ropes course, and a giant Ferris wheel, but no gender-neutral bathrooms. Come on! It’s 2023, people.

Ain’t Bobby so cool?

You can almost sing this to the tune of “Rainbow Connection.”

Activate Rodney mode … Geez! If got a mug with a head like that on it, I’d tell the bartender to take it back. I tell ya, if we had hunches like that, we’d solve every murder on the books! They say a supermodel can smile with her eyes. This guy can scowl with his hair!

Just like with my children, I am constantly calling Alexa and Siri by each other’s names

So now, apparently, I have to figure out what costume I’m going to wear when we go to see the Taylor Swift concert movie? Marriage, year 21.

Happy first anniversary to my most popular tweet of all time. Sadly, we’re still no closer to cracking this case.

Said Matt Gaetz “if me and you seven Vote to oust him, we’ll get rid of Kevin” So through speakericide His leadership died And I’m sure that it went straight to … hell.

Seriously. Fuck this bear.

The kids are very excited to leave out a plate of Johnny Cakes and Ale for when Thomas Jefferson comes down the chimney on Independence Eve.