Never would have guessed Donald Trump was a crisis actor all along

Work shopping a bit where I refer to Hillary Clinton as a "butteremails." It's kind of a play on the term butterface and the popular phrase "but her emails."

Carving some little witch doctor fetishes for the laundromat boys!

Sitting down at McDonalds and informing the person mopping the floors that I'll be dining off the menu this evening.

Asking Alexa to kill me

I'm a Post-It Note guy in a Post Malone world.

Asking my wife if she will euthanize me!

Are they trying to murder you, m'lord?

Laundromat boys put my last quarter in an outlet and gave this a paperclip to fish it out. These gu

Opening the mail and excitedly taking out the letter containing the monthly topics for the Laundromat Debate Society.

Yo dawg, we hear your like spinning so we put your spin room in a spinning room so you can spin while you spin

I'm a Gomez Addams guy in an Eric Adams world.

I'm a Jack Mehoffson guy in a Kris Kristofferson world.

Reading this tweet for 45 minutes straight to prepare for debate viewing.

Like I always say, why levitate when you can cavitate!

I'm a Hardy Boys man in a Costco Guys world.

I'm a Sizzler guy in a Rizzler world.

Telling the laundromat boys that the gays get everything.

Nodding respectfully at the laundromat boys as they flay a guy.

Dear Mr. Dan Bongino , Dan Bongino sir. Will you be making your famous piss lemonade for your new babysitters, I mean bodyguards? I think they will really like it. Thank you Mr Bumdingo, God Bless America sir.