Haven’t been on anon twitter in so long, I’m feeling so depressed and stuck with work, I need to scream into the void again. Also work twitter is making everything ten times worse. My imposter syndrome is a monster rn

I’ve also spent this whole year caught between my level of Covid caution and my loved ones lack of caution. I feel like I’m not cautious enough for the cautious community and everyone else thinks I’m a victim of my anxiety. It fucks with me so bad

Considering moving to CA cuz I’ve reached a plateau with kink and I hope community would help me learn and level up. But it’s a big financial risk, and my mental health is so tanked rn I can’t imagine achieving it.

Heading home from visiting my partner and hoping I can work and make good money. Hope I get in persons that don’t get me sick. Hope I get out of this freeze depressive state I’ve been in.

Going to try to not smoke or drink and save money. Gonna try to take my walks every day and do all the healthy things for myself.

If anyone on sw anon sees this, I’d love your input. What do you do when your self esteem is low about your appearance? Really struggling lately with that and it keeps me from taking pics and doing socials

I do this when the train that goes behind my house blows it’s whistle. I scream into the sound and it just blends in.

Uggghhhh I’m in such a slump. I hate everything.

It’s amazing how making some money really raises my self esteem

Every other day I feel like I’m losing it. The world is horrible. I feel despair. I keep going, but it’s all dissociation.

I’m in the kind of depression where I know the things I need to do to get out, but I don’t even want to do them.

Questioning my rate structure yet again cuz I am getting a few guys who screen but don’t book, also getting so few inquiries. Might have to experiment with a special when I’m back home. Meantime I gotta work on tour ads ughhhhh

Like I know my marketing isn’t great and I got by on it for awhile and I haven’t done a shoot since my ex (also my photog) left me… I hate shoots!! And I don’t have the budget for much or outfits.

On my birthday I wore a mask and no one that celebrated with me did. I didn’t ask them to, I’m too scared of rejection. We were in public around unmasked people anyway. But I watch the video of them singing to me and feel fucked up

The flip side is two of my friends did test so we could have a dance party sleepover and I could unmask without worry. So that was nice.

I feel like such a hypocrite that I don’t confront the issue of covid safety with friends. I fear rejection and abandonment so deeply. But what I trade safety for isn’t the intimacy I once enjoyed with these friends. I hate the world.

Some how still have a lil more money than debt, even tho online stuff has been dead. Hopefully I can keep at it. Trying to give myself grace that depression is like being sick and I wouldn’t be hard on myself if I was sick

Very much looking forward to being in Cali with my partner/sub and drinking in their affection and love

Say a prayer/weave a spell for me that I don’t lose my housing. My landlord is fucking with me.

I’m locked out of my client facing twitter 😫 pray for me they respond to my support requests