sorry i just read your text from last weekend, are you guys still at the bar

bro last night was a minor setback

i am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star and that’s exactly why i’m the way i am

Im srsly considering misbehaving right now

This chapter of my life is called ummmmmmm ok I guess wahtever

sorry im busy facing the consequences

everyday at work

it’s okay i noticed when you weren't excited about my presence anymore

Some seasons of your life will make opening Instagram extremely painful

Is anyone curious about me Does anyone want to figure me out

#NewProfilePenis

they ran out of nails so they’re gluing me to the cross

hey man is anything ok

You have such a way with worms

quién sufrió más jesucristo o yo con ya saben quien

im going through things you can’t even find on reddit

This behavior, known as “claw fluttering,” is display where a male turtle vibrates his long front claws in front of a female to attract her