I'll never forget the time that my roommate saved me from choking to death, he loosened my belt.

I'm supposed to get married this weekend. But I'm a little worried she might be delayed or won't even show up because of all the problems going on in Ukraine.

The only thing I learned in law school was that I'm a lot like a poor defendant because I also have no appeal.

Studies show that jerking off 5 days a week is good for a man's prostate. I just found that it gets you kicked off the bus

I threw an orgy during the pandemic, I'm the only one who came.

That's the last time I go to the mall, I was stuck on an that escalator for 45 minutes.

They just found out how frisbees reproduce. It was quite a disk ovary

I bet even Hitler hated grammar Nazis

I started online dating back before online dating and digital cameras were popular so, as dudes we just had to describe our dicks.

My wife and I are getting pretty serious. She recently agreed to share her Netflix password with me.

There was a misunderstanding with where we registered for the wedding. Not sure what we're gonna do with $635 in Cracker Barrel gift cards #CrateandBarrel

When my ex-wife and I were trying to have a baby she would never do a doggy style, she didn't want a baby with kennel cough

Brady has the energy of da lol rs manager who gave his two week notice last week. #nfl

My wife got one of those Stand-Up desks. I bet it gets booked before I do.

Caption This

This Eagles fan was PISSED!!!! 😳 #SuperBowl

Hopefully he's got an extended warranty on his tv

Amazon should start including a bottle of liquor/wine on every order placed after 11 PM. Just so you'll be sure to place another drunken order in a few days.

We were so poor growing up that we didn't even have cell phones!

This holiday season, the big man has to pay. This Sunday, Vodka Skoda (as Santa Claus) is bringing together a wild lineup of comics at House of Comedy for the first-ever Roast of Santa Claus! mncomedy.com/news/f/santa-c…