Friend: “it’s still only Septemb- Me:🖤🎃🍂🕷🔮🕸🌙👁🦇🔪👣⚰️💀🖤🕷🎃🍂🕸🌙👁🦇🕷💀🖤🎃🎃🎃🖤🕷🕸⚰️🦇👁🖤💀🕸🌙🍂⚰️⚰️⚰️🔮🍂🍂🍂🔮🔮🎃🖤🖤🕸💀👁🔪👣💀🖤🍂🎃 🕸💀👁🔪💀🖤🍂🎃🔮🕸🌙👁🦇🕷💀⚰️🖤🕷🖤🕸🔮🕸🌙🦇🕷🎃👣💀🍂🖤💀🕷🕷🌙🌙🎃🍂👣🍂🕸🌙👁🎃🎃🦇🎃💀🔮

Set the oven to 500 degrees, and leave the house for eight hours. #RuinACookie

#RuinACookie Chocolate Paint Chip

Troll house #RuinACookie

Lorna's Poon Cookies #RuinACookie

Carl Sagan #SoothedMeWhen he explained the cosmos

Music #SoothedMeWhen I felt like I would lose my mind

Putting Vicks on my temples #SoothedMeWhen I had a headache

It #SoothedMeWhen I found out that I could be myself and people still liked me

Rolling in the Deepak Chopra #NotSoSexySongs

Fair Vibrations #NotSoSexySongs

Baby Got Slacks #NotSoSexySongs

California Squirrels #NotSoSexySongs

What Lovers Poo #NotSoSexySongs

There's a slot machine in the laundromat I use. Everytime I play I win four quarters! Each turn only cost $1. I must be really lucky.

Fall in the South means apple cider, fall decor and pumpkins while wearing shorts and flip flops because it’s still basically summer

A fantastic example of a lady not allowing herself to be a passive victim to a group of men with guns. She had the biggest weapon of all, her car....

Orange Isn't the New Black #TrumpAShow

coworker: you’re 37? you look younger me: i let a demon possess me in exchange for external youth coworker: ha ha *leaves* demon inside me: you gotta stop saying that someone’s gonna believe you me: meh. i’m going to the break room for a donut demon: ooo get a maple bar