Criminal: yeah i'll have two guns Me: kay, that'll be 600$. or, you could get FOUR guns for 1200$! Criminal: ...that's not a savings Me, NOT gentle: NO ONE SAID IT WAS! ... Criminal: four guns sound great

Me, to the cops: Hey, Ashe calls the shots, I just work here- Ashe: JESSE MCCREE YOU SUMBITCH JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET OUTTA THESE CUFFS I'M GONNA WRING YOUR STUPID NECK

I realize I make it sound like Ashe does nothing but punch and/or strangle me... but it's play-fightin'. Mostly. The ol' Deadlock form of affection.

Why is there a council? I'm. A little worried.

A council usually decides on shit? What th'hell are you deciding on with all your clones?

Alright. Guess I can't argue with that.

Me, walking into the poker room: Hey, Ashe, I was lookin' at the stocks and I- 15 Ashes, all gathered around the table: Me: Me: Okay. I'll just. Come back later.

Hey, I don't doubt it. Have fun. 'r don't.

I'm pulling my weight for the gang. Just saying. Don't- Don't deliver any unjust punishments or nothing-

Wh- Why's the gang always growin' when I ain't lookin'??

The second?

"Jesse's a himbo" You're right but y'shouldn't say it,

Me, with an arrow through my right arm: oh, NOW you wanna top Hanzo?? Is that how it is??

I'm the goddamn April Fool every month I spend in this gang, I swear,

Which one?

Well. 'm here.