Really into the first pass of windshield wipers after your car’s been sitting in the rain awhile

Saw someone with us-east-1 in bio instead of northern Virginia. Have some dignity man

A truly disproportionate number of secondhand belt buckles I’ve seen in the past week had confederate flag designs

I am an adult and can be trusted with grocery shopping

Hate it when my baby cucumbers start getting flaccid

Every time I see this intersection coming up on the gps I start yelling like I’m on a bus dangling half off a cliff

Sitting in rush hour traffic thinking “middle lane is lowkey the new meta these days”

Some things never change

Four different people have sent this to me

I love answering questions. Gives me a little high

Lunch outside SAVES LIVES! This feeling could be yours TODAY!

Sometimes talking to me is like you’re famous and I’m interviewing you for GQ

Most romantic message I’ve ever sent

horrifying

I keep thinking “this recipe where you blend tofu into a bunch of other shit and can’t tell it’s there will be the one!” And it is never the one. And now I have to eat it. I have to eat it all

Spock Star Trek is wasian as hell

guy who hasnt turned his switch on in 6 months: wow why wont my switch charge faster

definitely a human person. certainly not 100 pikmin piloting a bowl-shaped mech