i ate

trying to lock it in after too many rounds of alcohol calories

binged.

bingeing until your stomach hurts but still not being able to stop

the physical consequences of purging are getting to me, im feeling awful and so scared of not being able to stop and this isn’t even part of my ed diagnosis 😭

seeing how much weight i lost before halloween, but also realizing how much i gained back over halloweekend

having an ed feels like a never ending story

i’m not doing okay 😁

my healed scars are hurting a lot recently….its like tight?

realizing i can’t go back to low restriction and long fasting immediately, i need to get worse but slowly or i’ll crash basically

im so scared of having a purge-face aka mia-face

my lowest weight didn’t equal my smallest body, and i don’t know if that gives me a feeling of hope or rage

im back hi

midnight b/p

if im going to feel this miserable can i at least be miserable skinny ?

i’ve stayed clean for almost a month now and i feel like im going insane bcs of it

thinking about doing a single tiny little small cut on my thigh, there’s literally a package of brand new kai razor lookalikes inside my drawer….

i hate this feeling of not being able to function without pain, i should feel better and proud of myself for staying clean, right? why do i feel so miserable