"I thought there was a dead animal on top of that thing. I was about to be so excited"

"I bet God has Cabela's in heaven...right inside the gate, that's the first thing you see"

"Cabela's is better. It's like the difference between goin to Disney World than Disney Land"

"Piece of shit is, as piece of shit does"

"Dem collard greens go straight to your hiny"

"You know, them mosquitos carry molasses"

"My breaf smells like metal"

"17 lbs. of pork?! That's like carrying a baby"

"Look at Joan Jett tuning her guitar like regular ass mother fucker. I don't even tune my guitar. That's fucking awesome."

"She chews gum!!!" -Kasey about Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

"I can now die a peaceful death. I'm good with Jesus and I saw Joan Jett & the Blackhearts.

"I slept good last night. Them damn LaQuinta's got some good mattresses." La Quinta by Wyndham

My anxiety on fleek today 😧

After a hot yoga session - "I never realized how tight my forehead was... from thinkin' too much."

"Y'all got sap in California?"

“I had two good ideas... in the same night!”

I want to write a song called “Snot rag”

“Oblajetory” (means obligatory).

You gotta chase that ass to get that ass @_laineywilson Jenna LaMaster @mandechicks

I always broke toes growin up from kickin people in the face