i’m sorry but the scholastic book fair did not inspire a love of reading it created my love of shopping

why would i want a president thats always getting shot at

third base is when i have a panic attack in front of you

People my age are on baby #2 and I'm on drink #5

why is no one adopting this damn ho?

no president gone make you rich btw, if you was broke today gone be broke tomorrow

“Cancel out my husbands vote” bitch if you don’t poison that man

And fuck that little hippo too

see shes better than me because if i was her i’d call him a fat cunt on national television

new workout goal is to have a body where after I commit a crime, the media posts my shirtless pics and everyone's like WOW

He needed me and I wasn’t there for him

it’s really important for your character development to date someone who fucking hates you in your twenties

how it feels coming back to twitter cause tiktok is banned and all the other apps aren’t as funny

I get so annoyed when someone is mean to me bc now I have to be mean back and I wasn’t in the mood for all of that

sometimes i just zone out like this: