How exactly is this a Good Friday?

Just unfollowed Judas!

Please tell me that’s a giant kite

Waiting for a Roman to tell me this is all just a prank

Can I come down now? Not funny any more lads

This is the last time I sacrifice myself to myself for a rule I made up! Totally not worth it

Sorry I am out of the office due to personal sacrificial dying for sins work I will be back in the office 09:00am Monday morning Regards J

Peter: Fancy a beer? Me: Can’t mate, I’m dead

Dear diary Today I sacrificed myself to myself because of a rule my dad made up who is also me He also got my mum pregnant so she could give birth to me Together we are one person Well 3 persons in 1 if you count Gary Gary is the holy spirit

Hey Dad Do I just hide here till tomorrow then? Let me know

Remember yesterday when I was alive #goodtimes

#BetterConnected

Your enemy isn’t carrying all their belongings in a plastic bag. Your enemy is carrying an investment portfolio. Wake the fuck up!

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyXAnniversary    I might sound intransigent on this but, it was Twitter, it is Twitter and it shall always be Twitter. Can I get an amen?

I bet The Shirehorses announced their reunion first. Copying bustards. Mark Radcliffe Mark Riley @theshirehorses

Huge Congratulations to Conor McKenna as he becomes only the second man in history to win AFL Grand Final and an All-Ireland medal. Well done to Conor and his Brisbane Lions team on their impressive victory over Sydney Swans this morning 👏🏆.

If Corbyn opens a socialist party retweet if you would join

Right wing Irish-Americans think Bono and Conor McGregor are Ireland's most beloved figures when in reality it's these two lads.

“There were no babies in ovens... No mass rapes..” —Dr. Gabor Maté to a Z10nist

Jeremy Corbyn should be Prime Minister Retweet if you agree