Funny how the only places you get recess are Congress, the courtroom, and elementary school.

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead tonight (I'm going for January 20, 2021).

Can you use your child's 529 to pay for bribes and test cheating? Asking for the rest of West LA.

I'm mostly surprised Alabama didn't carve out an exception to their abortion ban for unwanted fetuses of football players. Or maybe it's just understood? #CrimsonTide

When you have an idea for a really powerful, angry meme... but all the coat hangers in your house are plastic.

Congratulations to President Donald J. Trump on last night’s wildly successful “Salute to Pneumonia.” #MAGAintheER

Guy on my flight home wearing a Q-Anon hat couldn't figure out the lavatory door.

Suspect the Epstein documents will finally reveal Victoria's Secret.

"No, YOUR guy liked the pedophile more." --what passes for political commentary on Twitter.

If you have a crack in which sand can lodge itself, you are beach body ready.

Forever a bleached, impeached leech who likes to screech with an Adderall speech. #OrangeFace #SniffyMcAdderall

Trump hasn’t been seen on camera for 44 hours. Where is the president? We need 5000 people to respond to this tweet with #WhereIsTrump. Come out of the basement, Donald.

Same answer to that question for the last 25 years.

My neighbor just got a parking ticket. On New Year’s Day. Thanks, #losangeles.

Just to troll, Biden should tear-gas the protesters so he can walk across the street to NPR studios and hold up a copy of "The Moosewood Cookbook."

A young talent killed, a neighborhood fed up, and a new flashpoint in L.A.'s homeless crisis latimes.com/california/sto…

I am the mother of a fentanyl addict who is desperately trying to prevent her son and others from dying due to this drug. I plan to protest the fentanyl dealers in Venice Beach on June 2nd at 10am. I would love to have others join me. Dm for more info. stopfentanyldeaths.org

Happy Vasectomy Day, America.