I’m going to open up a giant chain of Chinese restaurants that are only open on Christmas

Told my 4 year old he can have a treat if he eats all his carrots. He proceeded to take one bite out of each carrot and said “ok, I ate every carrot”

Sometimes you need to go all out and treat yourself to some good ol’ fashioned Surf and Turf!!! Ba Da Ba Ba Ba!

I looked everywhere and I can’t find my Where’s Waldo book!!!

Played a 14 hour live poker session yesterday. Lost everything I won in 25 minutes today online 🤔🔫

6 handed, 5 card, double board bomb pots every hand in comfortable reclining/swiveling chairs to a 10 handed NL holdem event in ballys #adjustments

You know you’re having a good vegas trip when you start running low on socks

**Tournament Poker start of day 2** Guy sits on my right with a lot of chips and says “sup man” Me: *cold shoulder* nada… Guy realizes he’s in the wrong seat, sits on my left Me: “so buddy, how’s your trip been going?! Well I hope! 😁

Ordered pizza from one place and chicken wings from another. (both delivery). The delivery drivers showed up at the exact same time… awwwkkkkkwwwwaaaarrrrddddd 😬

Chucky straddles; this game is child’s play Michael Myers takes a stab Vecna calls the clock Ghost face makes the call Jaws: cya at the river Satan yells for a third six Hannibal; I’m going on a meal Freddy Krueger: did you remember to burn? Pennywise; “I have IT” scoops the pot

Scary poker game part 2 #HappyHalloween

If you enjoy playing BombPots at the poker table send me a private message! 👍😁

Coyotes are actually twice as fast as RoadRunners…. 🤯🤯🤯

It’s been a great 19 years of playing poker for a living but its time to move on! If anyone is looking for a cake decorator/birthday party entertainer (preferably ages 3-8) or a closet organizer hit me up!

Guy next to me at buy-in cage Worker: “you buying in for millionaire maker sir?” Guy: “Hah, I’m already a millionaire” *awkward silence* Guy: “I’d like to buy-in for the daily $200”

First guy says “I’ll bet $3800” Puts out the wager on the left Opponent says “I raise, make it 13k” puts out wager on the right. #CantMakeThisStuffUp

I think I just saw the guy at my poker table who’s wearing a mask making out with a prostitute on break 🤔🤷‍♂️

Just played a guy heads-up for about 40 minutes.  He sat with $1000.  I ended up winning his entire $1000.  He lost $1000 and I lost $448 Rosie Perez nailed it: “Sometimes when you win, you really lose”