S𝔥𝔢𝔞 B𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 🤣🤣🤣🤣

One thing I’ve learned over the years: Bonnie Raitt will upset a damn category at the #Grammys. 😂

Game over, bitch.

An escape room—but the only clue is found after making your 360th mortgage payment.

The plump fuzzy feline by day— The Gotham Guardian by night #CatsOfTwitter

The rich juror bringing other jurors eggs for a little persuasion perhaps? Damn eggs. This is wild. #MurdaughTrial

I’m fully expecting this Griffin guy to faint or pass out at any minute to let someone else stand in. #MurdaughTrial

I never thought as an almost 50 year old man I’d say “Lefty loosey, righty tightey” to myself as much as I do.

March Madness. But it’s just me pissed off at the amount of my homeowners insurance renewal. 🤬

My grandmother heard they’re banning TicTac and she’s circulating a strongly worded petition at the senior center.

Still can’t believe Bob Marley confessed over a reggae beat to shooting a sheriff. The 70s. Man.

I really thought I’d encounter more spiral staircases in life than I have.

Anyone need a CAT-SCAN? #Caturday

Awesome. I now know the average tux refund amount in Georgia. Thank you, autocorrect.

You’re 37 and drive a 2017 Kia, Gary. You don’t have opps. You’re just annoying as fuck.

ZZ Hops #HareBands

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. #ThingsBugsBunnyNeverSaid

I slept in my Fountains of Wayne t-shirt and woke up in Stacy’s Mom. 😬

Name a better foursome. I’ll wait.