old school d&d has some great out of context quotes

Is there any feeling as exhilarating as finding out you got excused from jury duty

The giants are the nfl equivalent of the 🤪emoji and I love them so much for it

i misread "ram promaster" as "ram poomaster" on the parkway today and almost crashed

Yeah, i'm built different. Watch this! (spells 'renaissance' correctly first try)

Love it when a module starts out like this

nice argument. however i have already portrayed myself as the sleek FDR bullet train and you as the seething coal locomotive.

doing double takes at the belligerents section of wikipedia articles

Public service reminder: the far left lane (on freeways, highways, expressways, etc.) is for passing, do not stay in it at a speed that creates a line of traffic behind you, as if you are leading a g**damn parade.

If you laugh at this you have to retweetpost it

reading some old d&d modules

BREAKING: Today I'm calling upon the Legislature to protect New Jerseyans from the biggest menace on the roads: Pennsylvania drivers. All proceeds from the “Passing Lane Protection Act” will help pay for driving lessons across the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

You misunderstand the purpose of the long shower. I'm not doing anything in there. I am literally staring into nothingness and using the sensory input of falling water to temporarily wash away some of the horror of corporeal human life.

It is so embarrassing to be a Giants fan when everyone is watching the Giants. Like yes, this is what I do in my spare time.

There is a percentage of the population that inexplicably doesn't accelerate on freeway on-ramps and tries to get on the highway going 30 mph and I do not understand it

Sometimes you'll see a bumper sticker on a car and you just know they pay for a twitter blue check