It's really boring just sitting here in this train yard. Should get a hobby? Can trains knit or will my lack of fingers be a deal breaker?

I just rode by the park & it took everything I had to not jump the tracks, lay out a pool tarp, & cook this silver body of mine in the sun.

When you see my "No Passengers" sign on as I drive by, know that it's just me out for my daily run. You don't have to flip me off. #trainBod

UGH! No BART! I am not cheating on you with karl the fog because YOU AND I AREN'T TOGETHER! Your DM's are NOT appreciated. #IndependantTrain

You guys have done a pretty good job not puking in me this year.

On a scale from 1-10, how sexy is it when my antennae sparks on the wire? 11? Thank you, I knew it.

“Ressard: .SF Muni Train discoveries. #train #art ” I look nothing like that. I'm silver and red, and way skinnier.

TAKE NOTICE FUTURE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AND TRAIN FETISHISTS. I like flowers and punctuality. x.com/daisy/status/5…

Every time I work from home I just get in more trouble on Twitter. x.com/marccousineau/…

I can see everything you do when you think no one is watching. I see you over there cheeto fingers. Wipe those on the seat again, I dare u.

MUNICORNS ARE REAL! Thank him for believing in me. x.com/lauragoode/sta…

This is my yearly tweet about how I am NOT AFFILIATED WITH MUNI. I'm just a sentient train, with Twitter, who likes to party. Read my bio.

@thesophiapaloma I'm a "trained" dancer myself. Get it?Trained. Because I'm a train. Think about it while you're waiting, it's pretty funny.

If you're looking for train times, to file a complaint, or report a delay, you're in the wrong place. Looking for bad train puns? Hello!

DMing me to ask for a schedule is basically just an exercise in futility. If I do reply, I'll be condescending. (I'll talk down to you)

What is all this I hear about a Superb Owl coming to town? #confused #whatswithallthepeople #whysosuperbMrOwl

*TOOOOOT TOOOOOOT*

Choo. Choo.